Believe

"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:22

As I've been reading the Bible lately, I've noticed an emphasis on having faith. For example, I read recently in Matthew 13:58 that Jesus "did not do many miracles there [His hometown] because of their lack of faith." He was healing all kinds of diseases and freeing people from demons (Matthew 8:16-17), but when people didn't believe, He didn't perform miracles. On the other hand, I again read 'the Faith of the Canaanite Woman' in Matthew 15:21-28. Jesus was not planning on healing her daughter, for He said "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel" (verse 24), but when she pressed on, He said "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." (verse 28).

Since I was a small kid, I remember hearing that the faith of a mustard seed could move mountains (Matthew 17:20). Why is it then, though, that I doubt sometimes that God would make me thin? I realized that I still have the mindset that I will always be heavy and struggle with weight. Why is that? Do I believe that God can do heal me if He wanted to? YES! Do I believe that being healthy and thin lines up with God's Word? YES! So, if I ask for something from God, the giver of all good gifts, why do I sometimes feel like I could walk on water to Jesus and then other times I sink all too quickly like Peter did (Matthew 14:27-33)?

James 1:6-7 tells us "But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." Yikes! I don't want to be double-minded or not receive what the Lord has for me. For , I believe that He wants my best. I believe that God is compassionate and gracious. I believe that He is the Creator and Redeemer of my body. I believe that if He promises in His Word to give us whatever we ask for in prayer - and if we're praying for something in line with His Word and His will - He will indeed keep that promise.

After studying the Israelites for some time, I've seen where God kept up His end of the bargain even though His people sinned. If He says He will do something, He does it. He doesn't lie, and He even goes above and beyond what we would expect from such an amazing and just God. 

So, I'm asking Him to be healthy and  thin. And I'm believing that He will answer my request. But, make no mistake about it - I don't think that this answer to prayer is because of my faith. For, I deserve nothing from a holy God and am unworthy even to serve Him on my own accord. But, through the blood of Jesus, I believe He will save me. The perfect gift, given by grace and mercy to a hopeless world.

So, today, if you're going to be like me and ask God to make you thin, then friend, BELIEVE! Have FAITH! And glorify God when you see the results of His hand in your life!

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for Your Word. Thank You that even though Jesus came to heal the lost sheep of Israel, He also healed all kinds of people from their various diseases and demons when they had faith in Him. We believe that You sent Your Son Jesus into the world to die for our sins. And, we confess that we have sinned! God, the amount that I weigh reveals sin in my life. I am ashamed of my past behavior, but I ask humbly at your feet to be healed. Please take my body and make me healthy and thin for Your glory. Help me make wise choices, motivate me where I need it, but most of all, God, I beg of You to reveal Your glory through my life. God, part of me thinks that I shouldn't write this for all to read. But, instead, I give up my pride for the sake of Your ultimate glory. As people see a difference in my life, may they bow and honor You alone. I confess that I've tried on my own to do the right things and earn Your favor. But, I'm far too imperfect to even begin... that's when I stand in awe at Your mercy and grace since You paid my debt in advance. I can't earn it. I just have to believe to receive it. I believe that You can and will heal me of this burden and make me a display of Your splendor. I thank You and praise You for the work You're completing. In Jesus' name, AMEN!

Foolish?

"Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" (Galatians 3:3, NIV).

I read this verse on a friend's facebook post, and I smiled at God speaking directly to me. As I looked at older posts on this blog, I realized it sounds like I only learn during sermons. On the contrary, I read my Bible everyday and often see verses related to my journey of losing weight, as well as other things I'm studying in God's Word. But, lately I've been too ashamed to write them down. It's easy to read about something, almost as easy to know about it then, but extremely difficult to put it into practice. Earlier this summer, I severely sprained my ankle. And without exercise in my life, it became all the more difficult to want to eat healthy. So, I quit for awhile. And I'm paying the price as I look at the scale in utter horror.

I realized this week, though, that God is again working in my life as He's weaning out the ugly sin of pride. When I am able to work out and I somehow gain back a little motivation, I tend to think that I am in control or doing the right things. How foolish I can become in so little time! I throw everything I've read out the window as I take on the world's view of weight loss. I started thinking of different diets I could try and different workouts, and pretty soon the scale is rising again and I'm floundering. And I feel all the more ashamed because I know that I know the right things to do but I can't stop screwing up and I wallow in self-pity at my choice to sin again and again.

I have done what the Israelites did when they forgot God and started serving other things. The above verse brought back perspective. I've asked God to help me in this walk. I have to have faith that He can transform my mind and my body. I have to rely on Him each step of the way. I have to rest in the fact that He has died for the sins I've committed. I have to start each day fresh with Him. I have to get rid of any thought that I'm doing something right, for this journey is simply not about me. God is the one who started it, and He will be the one who finishes it.

Does that mean I keep going back to my old lifestyle? As Paul would say, "By no means!" But that does mean that I have renewed faith that God can still work in my life after I've started screwing it up again. For human effort isn't enough to change a person from the inside out. God started this work by His Spirit, and He is mighty to save. I have faith that He and only He can do this. So, I boast about my weaknesses because they are where God shows up strong (as I paraphrase the Bible). I have no pride left. It is God alone who deserves honor and glory. And that's the best place to be.

Dear Heavenly Father, Your name is holy. You alone are worthy of honor and praise and glory. Forgive us for being foolish. Thank You for being gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Thank You for sending Your Son to die on the cross for our ugly sin. We realize that we can't attain our goal by human effort. It is only through You that we are able to 'go for it' another day. Please help us. Please give us motivation and willpower. Please let us shine for You alone. Please rid us of our pride and help us always shine Your light. Please make us healthy and thin for Your glory. In Jesus' name, AMEN!

Being Content

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12-13

God has been speaking to me a lot about contentment lately, and I didn't even realize it until today. Last week, one of my best friends came over and as we were talking, she said she's trying to learn to be content with what God has for her. It really struck me, particularly because of who this gal is. So, as I was reading my book on raising children this past weekend, the above verse on contentment jumped out at me. I even made note of it as I set my book down so I could send it to her in a letter of encouragement.

Then yesterday was a particularly rough day at our house. I had a migraine and my kids were also having rough days and wanted to SCREAM. I was angry and frustrated and by the end of the night, I felt extremely guilty for my behavior that resulted from my anger. I am not two, and yet I found myself wanting to scream and yell as well. Last night, I saw a friend on facebook posting about a verse from Jonah about how being angry does us no good, and I knew that God was gently talking to me. 

So, this morning wanting life to go a little better, I picked back up my book and read some more. I'm currently reading "Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration For Character...In You and Your Kids!" by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. It has been an extremely good book so far and I would highly recommend it. I was still on the chapter of contentment, and as I was reading the pages, I realized that this was an area of struggle for me more than for my kids. I have been the child that hasn't dealt with disappointment well and learned to be content. Here is a passage from the book that stuck out to me; Turansky &Miller (2002) write:

"Children who are demanding and grow up with unchecked selfishness will have a harder time as they grow older. They won't have the character necessary to understand and accept the limits that God may place on them. As you help your children address their arguing, badgering and whining, you will begin to prepare them for a life of contentment. We all need to learn to live within boundaries, whether they are financial limits or health restrictions. Limits are part of life. Contentment means that we say no to things we can't afford or shouldn't eat. If children can't accept no from their parents, how will they ever learn to say no to themselves or accept limits from God? In the school of life, the 'Developing Contentment Curriculum' is not an elective; it's a required course." p. 101-102 [emphasis mine].

As I read this, it reminded me of a conversation I had with my father a couple weeks ago. He said that he can't stand to say no to himself. He's also extremely overweight, but he was talking about living on a tighter budget now that he's retired. He hates limits and doesn't think he should have to follow them. I truly fear for his future, both financially and health-wise. Sometimes these conversations make me panic, and I pray for him and then have to let go and trust God to take care of him. That said, I relate to him, both in the natural sense that he's my Dad and with what he was saying. I, too, hate to be told no. All too often, I buy what I shouldn't or eat whatever I crave. I'm an adult now, so I shouldn't be told no anymore, I reason. But how wrong I've been!

As I was reading this chapter on contentment, I recognized the symptoms of a selfish heart in me. Arguing, whining, badgering... all things done in the name of 'persistence' when in all reality it is pure selfishness. If something doesn't go my way, I have a tendency to try and outwit my opposition rather than recognizing the hurt that it will do to the relationships I have. This started as a child, I realize, but growing up while my parents were in the middle of a divorce, I can say that I typically got my way. Now I've turned into a childish adult. A childish adult with an addiction to food that is really stemming from an inability to tell myself no and accept limits from God. 

Our bodies weren't made to handle an indulgence to all our cravings. When I see someone limit themselves on something they really want, it is truly impressive to me. And I realized today that this is where the battle needs to start again for me. I need to learn to be content with whatever circumstances I'm in. As Paul articulates so well in the above verses, I need to learn to be content whether I'm well fed or hungry, in plenty or in want. And what's his answer to contentment? He believes in God - that he can do all things through Him who gives strength.

I wonder how I can teach my children to be content and not demanding if I have yet to master the skill myself. This morning, I bowed face first on the ground to beg God for His mercy and fill me and my children with contentment. That means being content when He says 'yes' and 'no' ... that means trusting God and believing He has our best in mind. That means ridding ourselves of childish behavior and demanding that we get anything we want and living a life of grace for others and for limits in our lives. I think this will be a tough journey but it's a lesson I wish I had learned a long time ago. Let's pray!

"Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for being a holy God. Thank You for giving us limits and saying no when we need the answer to be no. For only You really understand the long-term future. Thank You for teaching us those lessons that humble us and make us bow down in repentance. Lord, we need You and Your righteousness. May the blood of Jesus also cover our sins of selfishness and demanding our own way - please forgive us! We ask for Your amazing grace. We also beg for contentment. Please give us the strength of character to be content even when we are hungry or living 'in want.' May we follow what Paul says in these verses. Please continue to develop character inside of us that shines through to the outside of us. Please make us healthy and thin for Your glory. In Jesus name, AMEN!"