"Some of the wise will stumble, so that they may be refined, purified and made spotless until the time of the end, for it will still come at the appointed time." Daniel 11:35
My third son was born seven weeks ago to the day. And stepping on the scale this evening, I still weigh almost 50 pounds more than I did when I conceived him. YIKES! I was feeling hopeless again today, I'll admit. I fear that I'll never be able to change. I keep giving into cravings rather than obeying what I know to be truth. I hang my head at the fact that I lost over 80 pounds and then gained most of them back in nine short months. And I certainly can't blame my amazing little guy - for even pregnancy has no bearing on behavior or habit. For if my weight was based on circumstances and not sin, I would have been able to lose more this past seven weeks since he's been born.
I finally made the time to read God's Word again today. And the above verse jumped out at me. Some of the "wise" will stumble. I don't necessarily consider myself wise. I am learning more and more as I read and study God's Word, though, and in this context I felt that it was saying "people who know their God" (Daniel 11:32). Oh, how I hope that can be said of me! Reading on, the wise will stumble SO THAT THEY MAY BE REFINED, PURIFIED AND MADE SPOTLESS...
I have definitely stumbled in this journey of losing weight. It has been a long hiatus. But, I need to hold tight to the idea that it's never too late to try again. If there can be a purpose to this stumbling, though, then God has given me hope once again that He can pick me up, dust me off, and strengthen me to try some more. I need refining. I obviously haven't mastered being healthy. I need purifying... looking back, I can see where I was taking some of the glory for my weight loss. After all, I had worked hard, right? WRONG! Only through God's grace was I able to eat better, exercise and lose weight. Honestly, without Him I have no chance. Even though my head knows what's necessary, I can't seem to act on the knowledge. I'm stuck like an addict in sinking sand. But, I know a God who doesn't play by this world's rules. I know that He and only He can help me (and you!). I can't look down on others who need to lose weight. I can't stick my nose up at what they have on their plate while I'm in line at a buffet. For truly, I've been that person... even recently. I can only be humble about what God is doing in my life and hopefully encourage others. May this stumbling come to an end. I'm pleading today for God's mercy... may He refine me, purify me and make me spotless until the time of the end.
Dear Heavenly Father, I am ashamed to even come before You. But, You are worthy of praise. You are worthy of glory. YOU alone are worthy of trying again. May I glorify You with my body, my speech and my actions. May they all come in line with Your plan for my life. Help me to encourage others who are also on this journey. May we all lead healthier lives so we can be used by You for Your holy Name's sake. Lord, if at the end of days, Your appointed time, You say "well done" then all of this, even my horrendous stumbling, will be worth it. Please forgive me. Please pick me up, dust me off and help me do better. Please don't forsake me or turn away because of my sin. I beg for the blood of Jesus to cover me once again. Please teach me how to treat my body like Your holy temple. In Jesus' powerful and precious name I pray, AMEN!
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