Saturday, May 22, 2010

Do Not Set Your Heart on What You Will Eat or Drink

"And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it." Luke 12:29

This past weekend at church, we heard a good sermon on what's controlling us. The first story we looked at was in Luke 18 where Jesus told the wealthy man to sell everything he had and give it to the poor then to come follow Him. The man left sad because he rich. The speaker made this point: it wasn't necessarily about money for all of us - some of us become controlled by money, but some of us are controlled by other things.

He then asked the question, what do we have our hands on so tightly that we would be sad and 'miss Jesus' calling' if He asked us to give it up? While possessions may not matter, maybe it's control over a person or situation. He said maybe it's a title or position. Maybe it's work we do. He gave the example of a mom who came to him and told him all about her son who wasn't living the way she wanted him to. He said this mom was so upset, she was all but screaming until the end and her blood pressure was sky high. At the end of the day, while the mother wanted to control the son's behavior, his behavior was controlling her. She was the one losing sleep and upset while he was doing what he wanted. He asked again, what haven't we given over to God? What do we think we need to control?

The sermon series is called 'flip side' and the point is that when we give God the control, He in turn gives us freedom. The next set of verses from Luke 12 began my wheels turning.
Do Not Worry
 22Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[l]? 26Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
 27"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! 29And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.
 32"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. 34For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Where was my treasure? Recently we were asked to do a 5-day fast where we ate nothing but rice &  beans to get a feel for how the truly poor lived. Wanting to lose some weight in the process, I tried to have nothing but one meal of rice & beans so I could truly experience the 'poor life.' The speaker (I'm not sure if he's the pastor, but I know he's at least the youth leader if not the youth pastor of the church) said that when we fast, we often have SEVERE cravings that come up in our lives. Often, when we're giving up food, we start desiring specific foods in a way we never thought possible. The lack of what we want makes us grumpy and it starts controlling our thoughts. We as Christians then realize that if food can have this powerful effect on us, there are other things that can control us that we don't even realize as well.

I was listening intently as originally I thought maybe it was food controlling my life. He wasn't kidding about those cravings. I wanted pineapple (of all things) in the worst kind of way! But the more the sermon went on, the more I realized that once again what I had allowed to control my thoughts was the desire to be thin and healthy. I don't remember if it was that morning or the morning before as I was going jogging, I thought to myself "if I could double my workouts, maybe I could lose some weight before my birthday." So, I began thinking about getting up early to work out and then doing it again while my children napped. Then I began obsessing about what I could eat during those next couple weeks (this birthday one is a 'big' one for me...ugh!).

As we read the verses about 'do not worry,' I began to hear God once again reigning me in. I hadn't done anything to accomplish my previous weight loss. And when I start trying to control it, it seems like my eating becomes anything but healthy and I put on more pounds rather than shed them. You see, where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. I had been allowing my desire to become healthy to start being my treasure and therefore affecting my heart and actions. I was more concerned with it than with Jesus and what He is calling me to do. I was ashamed to go back to the same evil of obsessing over food - only this time, it was wearing a disguise. 

Life is more than food, the body more than clothes. We're not to worry about what we're going to eat. That means we don't have to 'diet' per se. We are to eat what God tells us to and not go crazy. We're not to be gluttonous and yet we're not to starve ourselves. God knows what we need. He designed our bodies and He knows how they operate best. His Holy Spirit is ready, willing and able to prompt us on good choices, and by all means we should follow Him. But, we don't need to take the reigns and dig our claws in so tight that we're no longer giving God the glory or allowing Him to work in us and through us. This pursuit had started controlling me, my thoughts and my time (without any success, I might add).

The sermon ended with this powerful note: if God took whatever it is that you've dug your claws into so fiercely, could you still love Him and be happy with life? (Okay, so that's not word-for-word, but it's basically how I understood the question.) Could I stay overweight if God so desired and still be head over heels in love with Him, honor and serve Him, and give Him my life? I cringed at the thought. I knew the answer had to be yes. Still I was struggling. So, I admitted to God that I was struggling. I told Him my desire, but I also told Him that I loved Him and it wasn't about my body, which is here today and gone... well, hopefully not tomorrow, but soon enough! I told Him I would serve Him until the end, and I was taking my claws out of this pursuit. It wasn't about me, anyway.

The next night, I saw a glimpse of a VERY attractive young blond gal who had just lost the battle to cancer. It was the only reminder I needed. I would give anything to see my kids grow up and hopefully their kids someday. I'm happy with the body God has given me. While I want to treat it respectfully, I'll be honored to serve God in whatever vessel He's given me.

I continue to work out. It makes me feel good, and I know it's good for me. I'm still trying to get up early to do it, because I think that's what God is calling me to. I also ate healthier this week than I have in a long time. But, I'm not obsessing over it. I'm taking one day at a time and not living for my own glory, but the Lord's.

This was a good reminder for me, and I hope it also helps you as we glorify God together with our bodies. Let's not set our heart on what we'll eat or drink (and I could even go on and on about what cravings can do to us! But that's for another post someday!). Let's seek Jesus first and His kingdom. I believe God will add everything else in His time, whether in this life or the next. Much love, my sisters (& brothers, if any read this blog).

Dear Heavenly Father, once again I must confess how sorry I am for trying to control something I have no business controlling. I'm sorry for where I've dug my claws in and stopped enjoying the weight loss but being controlled by it. Forgive me, I humbly ask! Help me start again, where my focus is on You and my desire is for You alone. May I treat this body as a vessel for Your Holy Spirit and Your glory. May I do Your will and bring You glory. We love You, sweet Jesus. Thank You for always reminding us and standing with us. In Your Name we pray, AMEN!

Friday, April 30, 2010

Given to Gluttony = Death

"...and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony." Proverbs 23:2

This verse made me think "OUCH!" The verses around it say not to crave the delicacies of a ruler for that food is deceptive. Then the Bible goes on to talk about restraint. I've not practiced restraint when I've wanted something to eat. The verse above  makes me realize how serious God is about this sin that we take so casually. I've given myself over to the deception of food before... I think, 'oh, just this one time of having a little too much or living it up in the chocolate I'm craving can't hurt; after all, I'll just work harder tomorrow.' But, tomorrow, saying no to temptation is just that much harder, especially once I've put on a few pounds.

I'm not suggesting we kill ourselves, but I am noting how serious the sin of gluttony really is. I know I tend to think of sins in terms of consequences. Surely I'm not as bad as someone who has committed murder, right? Just because I'm overeating, I'm just hurting myself. But, I have to remember that I matter to God. My body matters to God. He created it and I've been destroying it. I'm essentially killing myself slowly. And, in the process, I've been giving into temptation and sin that I KNOW is wrong. Yet, I'm always giving excuses for why it's okay 'just this once.' I know it's important to take a stand, and yet I've been luke warm.

This has been the hardest struggle of my life. And, while I thought it would get easier, it's still something I have to give to the Lord every day. He is the Savior. It's only through His Word and His grace that I'm even able to type this. I am a sinner. Plain. Simple. But, I'm also loved by God and saved through the blood of Jesus. I struggle with overindulgence. But, I know that I can overcome through Christ if I trust in Him. Salvation won't come on my own - I don't have the willpower. But, I can take one step at a time with God who guides me through His Word.

Please pray for me in this journey, and I will pray for you as well. We need God's help to keep us from temptation and deliver us from evil!

Dear God, please forgive us where we've given ourselves over to gluttony. Lord, I can see in the Bible that You find this behavior repulsive. Yet, I've read of Your unfailing, faithful love to Your people - even when they worshiped idols, so long as they repented and turned back to You, You rescued them. God, we're asking for the same mercy and grace. Once again, we ask for the blood of Jesus to cover our sin. Lord, instead of us slitting our own throats, we are coming before Your thrown and asking for help to turn from our wicked ways. Help us to be mindful of what we're doing to our bodies when we are eating. Help us eat enough but not get lazy and eat as much as we're used to consuming. Help us live for Your glory. Forgive us, oh God, and save us from temptation. Deliver us from evil as only You can. We need Your mercy and grace. We love You and long to glorify You with our bodies. In Jesus' name, AMEN!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Wanna Stop Messing Up?

"Great peace have they who love Your law, and nothing can make them stumble." Psalm 119:165

My husband & I were just talking about how we took a step off the right road these past few months and headed back the same old path of not eating well and not keeping a strong workout regime going. I think the hardest step is the one to commit to doing better and going for it once again.

So how do we stop from 'stumbling' as we're trying to walk this walk? Loving God's law. Not just casually reading it, not just listening to stories from the pulpit, but adoring it. Reading it, saying it, praying it, remembering it, hiding it in our hearts, bringing it forth in our speech, LOVING it. When I think about how much I love my kids and husband, I think about the time I spend with them and on them. While I love God's Word, I'm not sure I've given the study thereof as much of my passion as I should be. I want to be the kind of believer whose "like it, love it, gotta have it" is about the Bible and not Coldstone ice cream.

Dear Lord, thank You for Your Word. Thank You for the peace You provide through it. Please keep us devoted to knowing You through the Bible, and keep us from stumbling. May our lives be a pure reflection of You. In Jesus' name, AMEN!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Let Me Not Eat of Their Delicacies

"Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil, to take part in wicked deeds with men who are evildoers; let me not eat of their delicacies." Psalm 141:4

Do you ever feel drawn to food? Like it's calling your name? I struggle with cravings... but it's not vegetables or healthy things I typically crave. What I desire would be richer foods that could be likened to the word 'delicacies' in this passage. I'm learning this battle of the bulge starts with our heart and mind and then turns into either sin or the Lord's refinement in our lives if we say 'yes' to His Spirit and 'no' to the things of this world like casual eating.

One thing I learned in one of my Bible studies was to pray God's Word. There is power in it! Let's pray this verse together - may God help us in this struggle for His ultimate glory.

Father God, we lay our lives before You once again. Thank You for Your Word. Please don't let our hearts be drawn to what is evil, in every dimension of what that word means for us in our lives. Particularly, please keep us from overeating, casual eating... even eating that is done socially with others who don't have the same values as we do for our lives or don't struggle with the same temptations. Stop us from eating their delicacies. Teach us to do what is right. But even more than that God, how I beg for You to step in and guard our mouths, hearts and bodies! There are times I desperately wish You would take my free will from me since I keep making unwise choices. But, I know You are refining me each day in helping me choose better. Lord, forgive us where we have sinned and keep us from it in the future. We ask that You make us healthy and thin for Your glory. In Jesus' name, AMEN!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

They Ate Until They Had More Than Enough

"They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved." Psalm 78:18

While I haven't written anything in a little bit, I've still been reading my Bible every morning. This has been a difficult journey for me to lose weight. I realize now more than ever that this has to be a complete life change - not a diet but a day-to-day dialogue with God. And I know that there are people suffering in the world from things that aren't caused by their own sin, and I don't want to say that my struggles even come close to those. I'm just being honest about where I'm at. I lose a couple then gain a couple then lose, etc. I don't want to go back to my old lifestyle, so I'm holding onto Jesus like never before. These are the times that He carries me. I have willingly given in on occasions and must continue to seek forgiveness for not doing what I know is right.

You may get tired of reading this (if you even are still reading) and think that I should have this down pat like a science. The truth is that with addiction, one step back can be so damaging. So, I again say that my only hope is in God alone. This weekend we worshiped to a song that said "ALL MY HOPE'S IN YOU, MY STRENGTH, MY SONG..." It is ever true in my life.

Weeks ago, I woke up asking for God to continue to reveal Himself to me, particularly in this area of struggling with obesity. As part of my ongoing reading of the Old Testament, Psalm 78 was one of the chapters that I was about to read... and wow did it hit home!

As you read the above verse, I hope you remember that in Deuteronomy 6 it says you shouldn't put God to the test. I felt utterly repulsive as I thought about my own cravings and 'demands' for food. I'll be honest and say there have been times where I have demanded from my husband that we go out to eat, etc. How much this dishonors God blew me away. Maybe it would be helpful to read more of Psalm 78. Here are verses 1-38. Pay particular attention to verses 17-30.

Psalm 78


1 O my people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth. 2 I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter hidden things, things from of old- 3 what we have heard and known, what our fathers have told us.
4 We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done.


5 He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children, 6 so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. 7 Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands.


8 They would not be like their forefathers— a stubborn and rebellious generation, whose hearts were not loyal to God, whose spirits were not faithful to him. 9 The men of Ephraim, though armed with bows, turned back on the day of battle; 10 they did not keep God's covenant and refused to live by his law. 11 They forgot what he had done, the wonders he had shown them.

12 He did miracles in the sight of their fathers in the land of Egypt, in the region of Zoan. 13 He divided the sea and led them through; he made the water stand firm like a wall. 14 He guided them with the cloud by day and with light from the fire all night. 15 He split the rocks in the desert and gave them water as abundant as the seas; 16 he brought streams out of a rocky crag and made water flow down like rivers.


17 But they continued to sin against him, rebelling in the desert against the Most High. 18 They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved. 19 They spoke against God, saying, "Can God spread a table in the desert? 20 When he struck the rock, water gushed out, and streams flowed abundantly. But can he also give us food? Can he supply meat for his people?"


21 When the LORD heard them, he was very angry; his fire broke out against Jacob, and his wrath rose against Israel, 22 for they did not believe in God or trust in his deliverance.


23 Yet he gave a command to the skies above and opened the doors of the heavens; 24 he rained down manna for the people to eat, he gave them the grain of heaven. 25 Men ate the bread of angels; he sent them all the food they could eat. 26 He let loose the east wind from the heavens and led forth the south wind by his power. 27 He rained meat down on them like dust, flying birds like sand on the seashore. 28 He made them come down inside their camp, all around their tents.


29 They ate till they had more than enough, for he had given them what they craved. 30 But before they turned from the food they craved, even while it was still in their mouths, 31 God's anger rose against them; he put to death the sturdiest among them, cutting down the young men of Israel.


32 In spite of all this, they kept on sinning; in spite of his wonders, they did not believe. 33 So he ended their days in futility and their years in terror.


34 Whenever God slew them, they would seek him; they eagerly turned to him again. 35 They remembered that God was their Rock, that God Most High was their Redeemer. 36 But then they would flatter him with their mouths, lying to him with their tongues; 37 their hearts were not loyal to him, they were not faithful to his covenant.


38 Yet he was merciful; he forgave their iniquities and did not destroy them. Time after time he restrained his anger and did not stir up his full wrath.


You see, I already wrote about the actual event when it 'first' happened in my reading from the Old Testament. But, God once again wanted to show me that morning how important it is that we evaluate our cravings and desires. Can God satisfy our needs without food being involved?

I've noticed at parties that people who struggle with food are often the first ones to the 'buffet' line (for lack of a better expression) while people who don't have weight problems tend to get there last and don't seem to care if everything is gone or not. It seems obvious but not when you're the one hungry and being invited to go fill your plate. Could you not get anything and still be satisfied with what God has given you? Can you be satisfied with His Living Water?

Recently our church asked us to go 12 hours without clean water of any kind (and no other beverages) - no drinks, no toilet flushing, no hand washing, no shower, etc. to relate to poor people all over the world who don't have access to water. It was awful! How much I take for granted something like water (when truly, I love diet soda and iced tea, etc). Water is a precious gift from God. Do we use it like it's meant to be used? Or are we craving 'deadly' things?

Lastly, my heart breaks again at verse 29 "They ate until they had more than enough, for He had given them what they had craved." But, God's anger broke out against them and killed them while they were still chewing. It makes me sad to think about ... God will give us what we crave. We can choose to eat more than enough, or we can choose to crave Him and His righteousness. Our obesity can kill us, even as we're still chewing! Or, we can choose to crave a pure heart and things of God, and He will grant our request. God is a loving and merciful God. He longs for us to make the right choice. Can we do that today?

Dear God, please help us make the right choice. Help us crave things of You and not stuff of this earth. God, we know meat isn't wrong, but we also know that putting You to the test is. Please shape our hearts and minds through Your Word and Holy Spirit and thus shape our bodies. Forgive us for when we have craved unholy things - help us start fresh today. Please make us healthy and thin for Your glory (not ours). In Jesus' name, AMEN!

Monday, April 12, 2010

The Lord Will Fulfill His Purpose For Us

"The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever— do not abandon the works of your hands." Psalm 138:8

This morning as I was devouring my Bible, hungry for more of God, this particular verse stood out to me. I've had my ups and downs on this journey. Lately, I've felt like there have been more downs (and not in my overall weight!). I struggle to try and eat healthy, I wrestle with wanting this journey to be about God's glory and not about me, I battle with finding time to exercise and getting out of bed in the morning to do so since that's a time that can't be stolen for other purposes.... but this verse gave me peace. God reminded me that the LORD will fulfill HIS purposes for me. And He loves me. Amidst my sin and willing walk back into captivity, He hasn't abandoned me. I am the work of His hands. His loving hands.

May this verse remind you today that God has a purpose for you. And He loves you. He won't abandon you, but He will fulfill that purpose if you let Him. He is a good God and worthy to be praised!

Dear God, thank You for Your love. Thank You for Your purpose for us. Please don't abandon us! Fulfill your purpose for our lives. Help us become healthy and thin for Your glory, to fulfill whatever work You would have us do on this earth for as long as we can until we praise You in heaven. We love You, Lord Jesus. In Your Name we pray, AMEN!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

For God Does Speak

"...so that his very being finds food repulsive and his soul loathes the choicest meal." Job 33:20

Think the Bible doesn't have anything to say on eating, weight loss, your journey with food? Think again! I read this passage the other week and it jumped out at me for a couple reasons. First, I had had a terrible dream the night before. It seemed so real that when I woke up sweating and crying, I didn't even know where I was at first. I won't go into my entire dream, but here are parts of it: I dreamed I had pulled on my dad's arm as he was coming down a 'ladder' (of sorts). I was impatient and felt like he was moving too slow and holding me and my sisters up, so I grabbed his hand and gave it a tug, thinking it would help him find his footing and continue to come down.... only in my dream, he fell the whole way down (from me throwing him off balance) and he landed face first into cement. I remember seeing his face, his nose bleeding and cut open, his eyes immediately black and blue from his broken nose, and he was crying. (Now, for those of you who don't know my Dad, he is a big 'manly' guy who I've only seen cry once in my life when he told me that he & my mom were splitting up.) He was still on the ground on his knees, his nose gushing blood, and he kept apologizing for falling and then finally in his weakness said, "... who's pulling on me?" in a really sad and forlorn voice. I remember in my dream, I threw myself on the ground (much like my children do when they're having a fit). I beat my hands into the cement and kicked my feet and crying in loud anguish I proclaimed "Dad, it was me! I'm sorry! I'm a disease to everyone around me! I've had the worst day!" And I woke up. I felt terrible. I went to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face, and I saw that it was 2:30 am. I couldn't get back to sleep. I almost called my Dad then, but my husband who had heard me get up had woken up and told me that I should go back to sleep and not wake anyone else.

The next morning, as I was still troubled from my dream, I read the following passage in the Bible:
"14 For God does speak - now one way,
now another - 
though man may not perceive it.
15 In a dream, in a vision of the night,
when deep sleep falls on men
as they slumber in their beds,
16 he may speak in their ears
and terrify them with warnings,
17 to turn man from wrongdoing
and keep him from pride,
18 to preserve his soul from the pit (or grave),
his life from perishing by the sword (or from crossing the River).
19 Or a man may be chastened on a bed of pain
with constant distress in his bones,
20 so that his very being finds food
repulsive
and his soul loathes the choicest meal.
Job 33:14-20

I did call my Dad later that day to make sure he hadn't fallen, and I told him about my dream and about this passage in the Bible. I also told my mom, and she said to ask God what He was trying to say. One thing I see for sure is that God speaks in dreams "to turn man from wrongdoing and keep him from his pride" (verse 17). I surely do need help in keeping from intentionally sinning and from pride - this evil thing that creeps up inside even when we don't realize it.

But, I also saw at the bottom of this passage the warning that if we're not careful to overcome this addiction to food - slavery to sin and overindulgence - we may end up in a bed of pain, where we eventually are so sick that we find food & choice meals repulsive and loathsome. I don't want sickness to be the way to my recovery, if at all possible. In fact, I used to pray "make me thin" and then added to that "please make me healthy and thin."

I admit that I'm still struggling with this same sin. I'm still giving into the temptation to eat at times that I shouldn't and eat things that I shouldn't. I'm still struggling to wake up early and exercise. But, I fear God. I know that He is full of mercy, compassion and grace. And yet He controls the universe and does things that we may not understand for our best interest. Earlier in the Bible it says "And he (God) said to man, 'the fear of the Lord - that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.'" Job 28:28.

I don't have all the answers for weight loss. I know that it is a difficult journey that is only made possible through God Himself. To begin, I think it's important to have a healthy fear of the Lord. And next it's important to begin shunning evil. If we could walk in the steps God has provided for us, I believe we would have healthy bodies, operating the way God intended for them when He created them. That is what I desire! And, I'd really like for that to happen without a bed of pain and distress in my bones. Let's do this God's way!

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for speaking to us, even when we don't perceive it as the above verse states. Lord, tell us what You desire for us. We are listening to You. Thank You for Your grace for us. We don't feel like we deserve Your love, but we are so grateful for it. God, we ask that You would make us healthy and thin. Help us learn how to properly eat so that we don't have to be in pain to loathe food or choice meals. Speak to us God, and help us shun evil and fear You alone. We love You and long to do what's right so we can spend eternity with You. Thank You for saving us through Jesus since we would not be able to come to You any other way. We love You and long to honor and serve You. In Jesus' name, AMEN!