The Oldest Sin in the Book

"When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it." Genesis 3:6

Once again, I'm reading the Bible cover to cover, starting back in Genesis. I noticed that the first ever sin committed dealt with eating. Did you ever think about that? From the time man was created, God put limits on what he could and could not eat. The Lord told Adam in Genesis 2:16-17 that he was free to eat from any tree in the garden EXCEPT the tree of knowledge of good and evil. It struck me upon reading this passage this time how much God had given to Adam. He was allowed to eat almost anything, but there were still limits.

Ironically, it was woman who first committed the sin of eating what she wasn't supposed to. She knew word-for-word what God had told her husband (Genesis 3:2-3) and yet, we see in verse 6 that she ate the fruit anyway and even shared it with her husband. She willingly disobeyed God and had to suffer the consequences. More than that, it grieved me to see that she drug her husband down in the process. How many times do I do the same thing? My overeating and unhealthy lifestyle affects both my husband and children as I cook for them or encourage our family to go out to eat, etc. When pregnant with my first son, both my husband and I gained a tremendous amount of weight as he was gracious to me and my desires during those months.

There are times that I growl in my heart at Eve's sin. Why would she listen to that serpent? Why must I endure pain in childbirth because she was so stupid? Why are there weeds in my flower beds every spring that we spend countless hours trying to keep under control? How could they have been so foolish? All mankind pays consequences because of their actions. They knew better! And then it hits me all over again. I do the same thing. I know in my heart and in my head what is safe to eat. I know when I'm overeating and indulging. I know when I'm committing a sin against God and my family. And yet, I often run back to food for comfort. Just as Eve was deceived, I've let the same sin rule my life over and over again, knowing better, doing wrong.

If I have knowingly sinned, I can't hold any grudges against anyone else who has, too. I can't judge anyone who is overweight, for I've struggled my entire life with this sin of eating what I'm not supposed to. And, it looks to me as if it's been the longest sin known to mankind. We must defeat the enemy in this area! We must say no to the cunning of the serpent when he tempts us with food that is not in God's plan for our lives. It's not like God is trying to deny us good things - for we see how He allowed Adam to eat from every tree but one. He is the giver of all perfect gifts (James 1:17) and I must remind myself that a healthy body is a much better long-term gift than an immediate satisfaction of a craving, which brings momentary pleasure and future remorse. Let's pray!

Father God, we thank You once again for Your Word. I realize that Satan has been tempting mankind with eating something we shouldn't for a long time. But, it's no excuse. In fact, on the contrary, we should know better! I'm sorry for the sin I've committed in this area. And I'm sorry for dragging my husband and children down with me on this path. Please keep them healthy and thin, as well as me. Please forgive my sin and heal my body as only You can. Keep me from temptation and deliver me from evil, I humbly ask. In Jesus' powerful and precious name I pray, AMEN!

Create in Me a Pure Heart

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." Psalm 51:10-12

Today my prayer is for God to change my heart - I truly need a pure and clean heart to continue walking with Him. I have more than fallen off the wagon; I jumped off gleefully right back into a life I know to be sinful. Why? I guess I was tired. Worn out. Or probably more likely, unwilling to change or allow God to take me to the next step. So, I quit. I quit exercising. I quit eating right. I quit reading the Bible, praying, fasting and seeking God on this matter in my life. Oh, I had lots of excuses. But, that's what they are, just excuses. We found out in the beginning of October that we were expecting our third child. We were thrilled as we had been trying all summer to conceive. But, with the pregnancy came SEVERE morning sickness that lasted throughout the day. I didn't feel like exercising. I felt like sleeping. A lot! And I ate whatever sounded good - after all, I was told that simple carbs may stay down the best. But, really, it's all excuses. Now as I step on the scale, I see that I've gained back a third of the weight I'd lost over the last couple years. And I'm devastated.

I was ready to throw in the towel. Why try if I can't stick to it? But, as I was proofreading a newsletter for the local Mission in town, I read a fascinating article on addiction and relapse. The article noted that often relapse is part of recovery. It's those folks who don't quit when they do relapse back into old habits but try again that eventually successfully kick their habit for good. The article was challenging believers, helpers, family, friends and church members not to give up on addicts who mess up and go back to their addictions. While we don't condone the sin, we still need to love and encourage the sinner to get right back on the wagon and try again. It's only through the love of Jesus and support of others that addicts eventually are able to break the cycle of addiction. But, it doesn't typically happen overnight but is rather a process. As I read it, I thought YES! YES! Of course people need to try again and not quit.

Then, it hit me. Why was I quitting? Because I've failed? Yes, I had given up hope. But, who has the power to change me from the inside out? God! Can He do it? Yes! Will He do it? Yes, if I'm willing to follow and obey Him. I do believe it. And I once again had to repent for allowing myself to become so easily ensnared by the lies of Satan that food is what will comfort me, that it's fine to overeat at the holidays when we're going to parties and purchasing gifts, that it doesn't matter what I eat now because I can work it off later. Lies that shouldn't fool me did once again. But, I'm not giving up.

Another thing I read recently was that Satan loves to make God look like a fool. I would NEVER want to be part of that. For I've given God glory for the weight I lost - was I now making Him look foolish for saving me when I was screwing up again? I felt Godly conviction that I needed to change. The only problem is that once again I feel hopeless. But, I'm not without hope. I need to go back to the Word where God can teach me how to live. James 4:8 tells us to "Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded." Oh, I've been double-minded as I've asked for one thing and acted another way. I need my heart purified and my hands clean. The thought of God still being willing to come near me, though, thrills me.

I read another passage that spoke to me regarding God purifying our hearts. See 1 Kings 8:46-50: “When they sin against you—for there is no one who does not sin—and you become angry with them and give them over to their enemies, who take them captive to their own lands, far away or near; and if they have a change of heart in the land where they are held captive, and repent and plead with you in the land of their captors and say, ‘We have sinned, we have done wrong, we have acted wickedly’; and if they turn back to you with all their heart and soul in the land of their enemies who took them captive, and pray to you toward the land you gave their ancestors, toward the city you have chosen and the temple I have built for your Name; then from heaven, your dwelling place, hear their prayer and their plea, and uphold their cause. And forgive your people, who have sinned against you; forgive all the offenses they have committed against you, and cause their captors to show them mercy..."

Now I realize that you shouldn't take the Bible out of context. This was Solomon's Prayer of Dedication of the Temple, and he was praying for God's chosen people, Israel. Yet, there are some things I think we can take from this text. For one, all people sin. We all screw up. We just struggle with different things. And that doesn't mean my sin is any less of a sin, it just means that I need to see what to do once I've been taken back into captivity where I'm once again a slave to food. I think this passage shows us. If we have a change of heart and turn back to God with all our heart and soul, and if we pray... then God says He will forgive His people and free them with His great mercy.

I'm not sure that I can have a complete change of heart without God's help. So, I'm starting with prayer and Bible reading. I enjoy food. I like going out to eat. I like making it. I like eating it. I like trying new things and eating whatever I want. But, I don't like outgrowing my clothes and feeling awful. I don't want sin in my life. So, I'm willing to give my desires to God and trust Him to change me from the inside out. Will you do the same?

Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You, ashamed of our sin and the chains that weigh us down. Once again I've walked away from the good path You chose for me and went my own way, seeking my own pleasure and the satisfaction of my cravings. I'll admit that I've been lazy and gluttonous. I am so sorry, God. Please change my heart and purify it. Make my hands, heart, and head pure and refined before You. I can't change on my own. Instead, I repent and give You my life. And may You alone receive the glory for any outward changes. May I not be proud but instead humble before You as we walk together in this journey. I love You, God. Please make me healthy and thin, and keep this baby inside of me healthy as well. In Jesus' Name, AMEN!

Driving Out Demons

"But if I drive out demons by the finger of God, then the kingdom of God has come to you." Luke 11:20

How many of you have struggled with yo-yo dieting? I can name several times in life that I've lost significant amounts of weight, only to gain it all back again and then some. After doing the South Beach Diet and stopping when I got pregnant with my first son, I gained back more weight than I had lost, leaving me heavier than ever. UGH!And I can't blame the pregnancy - for after gaining over 60 pounds, I gave birth to a little guy who weighed just slightly more than 3 pounds. 

Why can't I stay on task and keep with what I know is right? As I've been studying God's Word and pondering this thought, I read the following verses that Jesus spoke in Luke 11:24-26: "When an evil (or unclean) spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says 'I will return to the house I left.' When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first." When I read these verses, I'll admit that I was horrified. It dawned on me that this may be happening to me.

I think in the present age, we don't think so much about 'spirits' that enter us. Maybe our culture doesn't make it 'fashionable' or 'hip' to think that demons could be possessing us - that's for horror movies and non-fiction, right? But as I've been reading the New Testament, driving out demons is often how Jesus' healing was described. I have a great friend who struggles with seizures, and I just read in Luke how God rebuked the demon who had been possessing a boy who had various seizures (Luke 9:37-43). When God healed a man who had been mute in Luke 11:14, He did so through driving out the demon. Jesus drove out an evil spirit on the Sabbath in a synagogue in Luke 4:31-37. He would also say things like "your sins have been forgiven" when he healed folks. For me, I know that overeating has been a sin in my life. But, have I left the door open in committing these sins for actual evil spirits to enter? I shudder at the thought.

Then I read the story of "the Healing of the Demon-possessed Man." I remember this story well, for I did Bible quizzing when I was in high school and we were to memorize the first half of the book of Luke and be quizzed on it. I wasn't completely committed to the quizzing as some of my friends were, but I did enjoy learning this way and remember much of what I read from those days. In any case, I remember Jesus meeting a man who called himself "Legion" because many demons had gone into him (this story is found in Luke 8:26-38). "A large herd of pigs was feeding there on the hillside. The demons begged Jesus to let them go into them, and He gave them permission. When the demons came out of the man, they went into the pigs, and the herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and was drowned." I almost giggled at the irony. What do pigs represent in society? Typically, if we call a person a piggy, it means that they eat too much. Could my demons be sent into a herd of pigs that they would die rather than me? That is my prayer! I would rather the demons not wander around aimlessly and come back into my cleaned-up life and settle in with seven of their friends. Rather, I'd rather be done with this sin once and for all!

After this man was healed, he begged Jesus to go with Him. But Jesus sent him away saying "Return home and tell how much God has done for you. (Luke 8:39)" I think this is a crucial step to our healing, too. I boast not at the fact that I've lost weight. For honestly, this has been a struggle for me almost my entire life. If I had discipline to begin with, I wouldn't even be writing this for you (and the public at large) to read. Rather, it's humiliating to talk about something that society looks down on and is truly sin in my life. But, in saying that, I've lost over 60 pounds and it's only been through God's amazing grace. For, I don't have willpower or discipline on my own, but God has been showing me His extravagant love for me and His desire for my well-being. Please pray for me, and I will continue to pray for you. It's only through prayer and God's work on the cross that we'll ever be set free from sin!

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You that You are holy. We can praise You and magnify You even on days that we don't feel worthy for You are ALWAYS worth of honor. Father, we thank You for Your Word today. God, we pray and ask right now that You would drive out the demons in our lives by Your very finger so that the kingdom of God would come to us. Lord, I'll be honest and admit that I don't understand a lot about demons. I don't fear them, for You alone are to be feared. Instead, I ask You to drive out any evil spirits that we've allowed to enter our lives. And, please don't let them wander, but we ask that you instead send them into the pigs that they may die and we might have life more abundant. God, we don't want to leave room for even more evil spirits to come into our lives. God, guard our hearts, our minds, our bodies, our souls and our actions. Lord, we ask for the Holy Spirit to protect us as only You can. Please mold our bodies and hearts as You intended when You created them. Don't allow sin to enter our lives and destroy Your creation. May our bodies glorify You, as we long to display Your splendor for Your honor. God, help us admit where we've been wrong and tell others what You alone have done for us. It's not by our work, Lord, but by Your very finger that we are healed. We thank You and praise You, Lord Jesus. Have Your way in our lives! In Your Name we pray, AMEN!

Depending on God's Mercy

^"It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy." Romans 9:16

I read this verse as I was studying the Bible, and I realized how true it is. We can desire to be thin, we can struggle and make lots of effort to overcome our sin, but in all reality, our entire success depends on God's mercy. You see, He's the only one that can forgive us of our sin and set us free from the bondage we've allowed ourselves to get into. And, we can't do anything to earn His favor. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). But, the good news is that God is merciful! The work has already been completed on the cross. We don't have to earn it. We just need to receive it and believe that God has forgiven us so we can begin again. It doesn't depend on human effort but on God's mercy. If you're struggling today, fall back on God's mercy. He desires to set you free as His beloved child.

Dear Heavenly Father, we come to You in awe and worship. You are a holy God. Lord, no amount of effort or works gets us to your throne of grace. Instead, the blood of Your Son Jesus has already paved the way for our forgiveness. Thank You for reconciling us to You even while we were still sinning. God, we don't deserve Your goodness, but we thank You for Your mercy and love. Thank You that You have called us children. We long to honor You in what we say, do and even eat. Please forgive our sin and help us start fresh today. We humbly ask to be healthy and thin for Your glory. In Jesus' name, AMEN!

Watch & Pray

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." Matthew 26:41

This verse spoke to me as I read it. Jesus was telling His disciples to keep watch and to pray that they wouldn't fall into temptation. Do you struggle with tempting foods? I know I do. One thing I fell in love with this summer was the caramel frappe from McDonald's. In just one drink, there's over 600 calories! Yikes! Yet, I couldn't seem to resist when the opportunity arose for one. Then I noticed their advertising called these drinks 'temptations.' Was that a sign or what?!?!

According to Jesus in the gospel, we need to watch and pray so that we won't fall into temptation. I run most mornings and I start the day thinking that I'm going to eat healthy and light and workout a ton. In my spirit, I'm willing. But as the day wears on, I notice the weakness of my body as I get hungry or tired. What's the answer? Prayer. Being watchful. Realizing that our body is weak. Going back to a loving God and asking for help so we don't fall into temptation. Let's pray now!

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for being a holy and loving God. Thank You for Your Word. God, we want to be watchful and we're coming to You in prayer. Please keep us from temptation. You know our spirit is willing, but you also know our body is weak. Please protect us, oh Lord, and strengthen us. Please make us healthy and thin for Your glory. Develop character and discipline in our lives. In Jesus' name we pray, AMEN!

Believe

"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:22

As I've been reading the Bible lately, I've noticed an emphasis on having faith. For example, I read recently in Matthew 13:58 that Jesus "did not do many miracles there [His hometown] because of their lack of faith." He was healing all kinds of diseases and freeing people from demons (Matthew 8:16-17), but when people didn't believe, He didn't perform miracles. On the other hand, I again read 'the Faith of the Canaanite Woman' in Matthew 15:21-28. Jesus was not planning on healing her daughter, for He said "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel" (verse 24), but when she pressed on, He said "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." (verse 28).

Since I was a small kid, I remember hearing that the faith of a mustard seed could move mountains (Matthew 17:20). Why is it then, though, that I doubt sometimes that God would make me thin? I realized that I still have the mindset that I will always be heavy and struggle with weight. Why is that? Do I believe that God can do heal me if He wanted to? YES! Do I believe that being healthy and thin lines up with God's Word? YES! So, if I ask for something from God, the giver of all good gifts, why do I sometimes feel like I could walk on water to Jesus and then other times I sink all too quickly like Peter did (Matthew 14:27-33)?

James 1:6-7 tells us "But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." Yikes! I don't want to be double-minded or not receive what the Lord has for me. For , I believe that He wants my best. I believe that God is compassionate and gracious. I believe that He is the Creator and Redeemer of my body. I believe that if He promises in His Word to give us whatever we ask for in prayer - and if we're praying for something in line with His Word and His will - He will indeed keep that promise.

After studying the Israelites for some time, I've seen where God kept up His end of the bargain even though His people sinned. If He says He will do something, He does it. He doesn't lie, and He even goes above and beyond what we would expect from such an amazing and just God. 

So, I'm asking Him to be healthy and  thin. And I'm believing that He will answer my request. But, make no mistake about it - I don't think that this answer to prayer is because of my faith. For, I deserve nothing from a holy God and am unworthy even to serve Him on my own accord. But, through the blood of Jesus, I believe He will save me. The perfect gift, given by grace and mercy to a hopeless world.

So, today, if you're going to be like me and ask God to make you thin, then friend, BELIEVE! Have FAITH! And glorify God when you see the results of His hand in your life!

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for Your Word. Thank You that even though Jesus came to heal the lost sheep of Israel, He also healed all kinds of people from their various diseases and demons when they had faith in Him. We believe that You sent Your Son Jesus into the world to die for our sins. And, we confess that we have sinned! God, the amount that I weigh reveals sin in my life. I am ashamed of my past behavior, but I ask humbly at your feet to be healed. Please take my body and make me healthy and thin for Your glory. Help me make wise choices, motivate me where I need it, but most of all, God, I beg of You to reveal Your glory through my life. God, part of me thinks that I shouldn't write this for all to read. But, instead, I give up my pride for the sake of Your ultimate glory. As people see a difference in my life, may they bow and honor You alone. I confess that I've tried on my own to do the right things and earn Your favor. But, I'm far too imperfect to even begin... that's when I stand in awe at Your mercy and grace since You paid my debt in advance. I can't earn it. I just have to believe to receive it. I believe that You can and will heal me of this burden and make me a display of Your splendor. I thank You and praise You for the work You're completing. In Jesus' name, AMEN!

Foolish?

"Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" (Galatians 3:3, NIV).

I read this verse on a friend's facebook post, and I smiled at God speaking directly to me. As I looked at older posts on this blog, I realized it sounds like I only learn during sermons. On the contrary, I read my Bible everyday and often see verses related to my journey of losing weight, as well as other things I'm studying in God's Word. But, lately I've been too ashamed to write them down. It's easy to read about something, almost as easy to know about it then, but extremely difficult to put it into practice. Earlier this summer, I severely sprained my ankle. And without exercise in my life, it became all the more difficult to want to eat healthy. So, I quit for awhile. And I'm paying the price as I look at the scale in utter horror.

I realized this week, though, that God is again working in my life as He's weaning out the ugly sin of pride. When I am able to work out and I somehow gain back a little motivation, I tend to think that I am in control or doing the right things. How foolish I can become in so little time! I throw everything I've read out the window as I take on the world's view of weight loss. I started thinking of different diets I could try and different workouts, and pretty soon the scale is rising again and I'm floundering. And I feel all the more ashamed because I know that I know the right things to do but I can't stop screwing up and I wallow in self-pity at my choice to sin again and again.

I have done what the Israelites did when they forgot God and started serving other things. The above verse brought back perspective. I've asked God to help me in this walk. I have to have faith that He can transform my mind and my body. I have to rely on Him each step of the way. I have to rest in the fact that He has died for the sins I've committed. I have to start each day fresh with Him. I have to get rid of any thought that I'm doing something right, for this journey is simply not about me. God is the one who started it, and He will be the one who finishes it.

Does that mean I keep going back to my old lifestyle? As Paul would say, "By no means!" But that does mean that I have renewed faith that God can still work in my life after I've started screwing it up again. For human effort isn't enough to change a person from the inside out. God started this work by His Spirit, and He is mighty to save. I have faith that He and only He can do this. So, I boast about my weaknesses because they are where God shows up strong (as I paraphrase the Bible). I have no pride left. It is God alone who deserves honor and glory. And that's the best place to be.

Dear Heavenly Father, Your name is holy. You alone are worthy of honor and praise and glory. Forgive us for being foolish. Thank You for being gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Thank You for sending Your Son to die on the cross for our ugly sin. We realize that we can't attain our goal by human effort. It is only through You that we are able to 'go for it' another day. Please help us. Please give us motivation and willpower. Please let us shine for You alone. Please rid us of our pride and help us always shine Your light. Please make us healthy and thin for Your glory. In Jesus' name, AMEN!