Do You Agree?

"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven." Matthew 18:19

Realizing that the struggle of addiction goes beyond a simple "eat less and exercise more and you'll be thin," I want you to know that I get it. If you're struggling in this area like I am, it's something you want so badly and can't seem to get there. I know in my head what's right, but I continue to make poor choices. I read a quote once that said something to the effect that we abandon what we want most when we give in to what we want right now. I've been asking God to help me in the area of discipline. I truly need it! I want to live a life of moderation. I want to be able to say no to myself and feel satisfied with the decision. It seems so simple to say and yet SO hard to do. I need prayer! I need my Father! I need the Holy Spirit to guide me in each and every moment.

I believe God's Word is truth. I believe what Jesus says in this verse is true - if we (you reading this and me writing this) agree about anything we ask for, it will be done by God the Father in heaven. So, let's ask together, shall we? Let's agree to ask for both of us right now.


Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for Jesus and His salvation. We thank You for His ministry on earth where we read the words that He spoke in truth. We thank You for His dying on the cross and resurrection - death that brings life to us. God, we know that You can raise the dead to life, so we know that nothing is impossible with you. Together, the two of us (reader and writer) ask to be healthy and thin for Your ultimate glory. Please help us lose weight, look great, and give honor to You in the process. Give us discipline, Lord, and help us lead a life of moderation. We can't do it without You, but YOU can do it for us. We believe that You'll grant our request. We need You today. Thank You, God, for your quick answer. In Jesus' Name we pray, AMEN!

Take Heart!

"Jesus turned and saw her. 'Take heart, daughter,' He said, 'your faith has healed you.' And the woman was healed from that moment." Matthew 9:22

Lately, I have been lacking the faith that God can heal me of my addiction. I've gained back all the weight I had lost. Knowing better, I walked right back into the trap of sin, thinking that I could let go of it on my own at any time. I'll admit that I thought I could lose it through nursing or just not eating once I was done being pregnant. And here I am unable to get any ground. A picture of how I'm feeling is bald tires spinning on ice: turning and turning, there's no traction and very little hope.

But, as I've been reading the Bible again, I realize that my hope cannot be in my own ability to be more perfect. Without excuses, I am a sinner in need of forgiveness and life change. I am again at a spot where I must admit defeat and rely on the power of Jesus to save and to heal. Only He can! I get no glory from this situation. I look and feel awful. BUT, I believe that God can save anyone He chooses to. And I believe that He can heal someone instantly if He wants to. And I'm hoping like the woman in this story that I can somehow press through and grab just the tip of His cloak... that through faith in Him alone and His power to heal, I can be restored to who I was meant to be.

I have no hope on my own. My only prayer is for Jesus to rescue me. I know He can. I believe He can. I'm willing to wait and push on. I'm willing to believe that He is the giver of good gifts and that He can make me "healed from that very moment." I invite you to pray with me!

Dear Heavenly Father, You are holy. You are perfect and righteous. I, on the other hand, have sinned greatly before you. The sin I've committed has caused me to look and feel bad. I can't seem to change on my own. So, I'm desperately seeking You. If only I could touch You here where I'm at, I believe You can save me. Truly, You are my only hope! Please, don't let me go unnoticed. Please forgive the terrible sins I've committed. Please keep me from evil. May Your good and gracious will be done in my life. I commit myself to You, in the name of Your glory. Thank You for Your amazing Word and faithfulness. Thank You for bringing life to death and healing us. In Jesus' Name, AMEN!

He Must Become Greater; I Must Become Less

"He must become greater; I must become less." John 3:30

How many of us want to become less? Pick me! I wish I weighed and looked a whole lot LESS! What's the key? John knew. He said it when he noted that Jesus must become greater. When there is more of God in our lives, there is less of us, including less of our human nature that leads us into temptation and sin.

More importantly, John understood that we need to glorify God. It isn't about us. There are many instances in the Bible where someone didn't give credit to God and was immediately struck by Him. The first instance I remember was Nebuchadnezzar in Daniel 4. He was proud and said in verse 30, "Is not this the great Babylon I have built as the royal residence by my mighty power and for the glory of my majesty?" He no more than spoke the words and a voice from heaven told him that his royal authority had been stripped from him - for seven years his sanity was taken and he lived like a wild animal outside. Picking up in verse 34:

 ³⁴ At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restored. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever.

   His dominion is an eternal dominion;
   his kingdom endures from generation to generation.
³⁵ All the peoples of the earth
   are regarded as nothing.
He does as he pleases
   with the powers of heaven
   and the peoples of the earth.
No one can hold back his hand
   or say to him: “What have you done?”

 ³⁶ At the same time that my sanity was restored, my honor and splendor were returned to me for the glory of my kingdom. My advisers and nobles sought me out, and I was restored to my throne and became even greater than before. ³⁷ Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble.

The next time I saw a similar situation was in Acts 12:23 "Immediately, because Herod did not give praise to God, an angel of the Lord struck him down, and he was eaten by worms and died." 

The Bible is clear that we are to give God the glory in all circumstances, humbling ourselves and recognizing that He alone is the giver of all good things. Luke 17:10 tells us "So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.'"

I believe that God created us to praise and glorify Him. If we can use our past sin and current obedience for His holy Name, then should do so. We need to make sure that we aren't congratulating ourselves on a job well done but rather focusing on God and His glory. Our weight loss journey isn't about gym memberships, workouts, diets, or even really weight or looks. We need to get into the mindset that God alone is to be glorified through our bodies. If we can grasp this concept, I think we can lay hold of the mighty power that He offers through His Son in forgiving our sin and allowing us to start over. As I look at my body and wish it were better, I often think "If only I could start over and knowing what I know now make better choices from birth - if only I could be born again!" Friends, we can be born again! And I believe that God can give us a fresh body if we allow Him to. Only He can do it, so only He can get the credit. Let's pray!

Father God, thank You for the work of the cross. May we never forget the cost to you of our salvation. We confess that we have sinned and fallen short of Your glory. We ask that You forgive us and give us fresh, new bodies along with a fresh, new start. When we do all that You've commanded, may we say with a true heart, "We only did our duty as unworthy servants." Lord, we are humbly asking for LESS of us! I want to be a whole lot less! In the place of me (and my fat) may there be more of You. Please become greater in my life! I love you, Lord Jesus. Have Your way and be glorified in me today. I ask You to make me healthy and thin for your glory. In Jesus' Name, AMEN!

Act Justly, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8

I remember my husband telling me once "you can't out-exercise a bad diet." I really thought about that for a long time. Knowing that most of weight loss comes from simply eating less calories than you need to burn, why can't I make myself eat less? I'm not going to starve to death. There's no real tangible reason that I need to eat as much as I do. So, with that knowledge in my head, why can't I seem to change my physical actions? Why can't I do better? How can I know something and do the complete opposite?

As I was showering today, I asked myself the question "what triggers my eating?" My first answer in this last rebound into sin was "I deserve it." That sounds crazy, but when I'm sick (like the beginning of my pregnancy), when I'm in pain (like after surgery or a recent fall where I broke my toe), when I'm tired (since I'm up feeding my baby all night long), I feel like I DESERVE to feel good. It's my right to enjoy life, and I enjoy food. It's my pleasure or addiction - why not give into cravings when I've had a rough day? If it makes me feel better, why not? After all, I've worked hard at being a mom, wife, cleaning the house, whatever the excuse is... I deserve it! I think this is where the above verse comes into play. We are to walk humbly with our God.

We don't deserve anything. Well, what we deserve is death and hell from the sin we've committed. Where do we get off feeling like we deserve more than we've been given? After all, looking at my own life, I have a wonderful husband, three beautiful children, a nice enough house, plenty to eat, clothes to wear, etc. Even if I've had a rough day, how do I think that I deserve even more than the grace I've been given? It's crazy to even think. And yet, this psychological trait is what gets me into trouble 9 out of 10 times. It's something I simply must give to God. The Lord detests pride (I deserve it!) and idol worship (addiction to food!). I'm praying to be in right relationship with him, so I need to get rid of this mentality that life is about me and not about Him.

The other times where it's not deserving, I think it's hopelessness. How can I ever expect to do better? I've willingly gained a ton of weight, eaten whatever I've wanted, and now I even have a broken toe to boot! How can I exercise? How can I eat less calories when my body has become accustomed to the intake I've had? I've been heavy all my life, is there anything but despair for my future? Will my husband ever look at me and say "wow, she's smokin!" And this is where I think that we need to love mercy. God desires to give us mercy if we'll turn to him. Do we deserve His grace? By no means! Does He give it freely if we repent? Absolutely! I can't do this walk on my own. Instead, I need to rely on God for every step of the way. I must love His mercy, act justly (do what is right) and walk ever-so-humbly with Him if I am going to have any hope for the future.

Dear God, thank You that You are a just and loving God. Thank You that You desire mercy, not sacrifice. Thank You for showing us the path to life! Please make us healthy and thin for Your glory. Break the chains of addiction, free us from anything we've done that isn't of You, help us to walk humbly with You on this journey toward a healthy temple that Your Spirit dwells in. Please forgive us and help us start fresh today, even this very minute. In Jesus' Name, AMEN!

God's Ways Are Not Our Ways

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9

I've been thinking lately about Sarah & Abraham. God promised to make Abraham into a great nation. And Sarah - thinking of her inadequacies to bear children up to that point, I'm presuming - decided to take the matter into her own hands and have Abraham sleep with her servant Hagar. Now, I would NEVER want to share my husband for any reason. The thought of it makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. But, I think Sarah wanted to help God fulfill His promise. (See Genesis 16.) What Sarah didn't realize is that God doesn't need help to accomplish His plans. Sure, He wants our obedience. But, He does as He pleases (Daniel 4:35) and answers to no one.

God didn't need Sarah to create a round-about way to give Abraham children. He gave them a son together - even in their old age. Sarah tried to do things her way, and what ended up happening was detrimental rather than helpful. Going about it her own way lead to heart ache on her part, her servant's part, and the children's part - and continues to fuel problems to this day. Even now, from what I understand the muslim religion holds that Ishmael (the boy born first to the servant) was the one who received Abraham's blessing from God rather than Isaac, the son born of God's promise to Abraham and Sarah. Her actions ended up resulting in the creation of a whole new religion that departed from God's truth!

I think sometimes we try to go about God's business in our ways rather than His. I think of losing weight and immediately I think I need to starve myself and exercise round the clock. In fact, last Sunday I decided to go for a run even though I haven't been getting much sleep at night. I figured that I enjoy exercising and that must be the right way to lose weight. But, the following day, I fell and broke my toe. No more running for me for at least six weeks, the doctor said. I was devastated. But, I didn't start my weight loss journey with exercise. Sure, it came later. But, originally, it started by me reading my Bible and highlighting Scripture that spoke to a healthier lifestyle (and thus me writing this).

God knows that real change - not yo-yo diets but REAL life change - stems from the heart. I have to get my thoughts in line with His before I'm going to see lasting change occur. God could, if He desired, make me thin overnight. I wholeheartedly believe that. So, why not read my Bible, and pray and petition God? He is the source of change. And if I want to be successful, I need to submit to His authority and the way that He has prescribed. His ways and His thoughts are higher than mine. The best I can do is talk with Him - via reading the Bible and prayer - and learn what His ways and thoughts might be.

I also tend to think His ways can be easier than we think. That sounds silly. But, Sarah didn't need to share her husband with another woman. She needed to wait on God and trust that He would help her conceive. Trusting and waiting sound hard, but the experience is a lot more rewarding than all the work we do in place of the right thing. Today I'm feeling like God's way is to read our Bible, pray and listen to the Holy Spirit when we hear cues from Him. Beyond that, I need to trust that if He wants me to lose weight, He will be my strength, my source, my vision and my guide.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for being the way, the truth and the life. Thank You for communicating your thoughts and ways to us - even though they are much higher than ours - through Your Word. Help us make time to read our Bibles and pray each day. May we listen to You and do things Your way. God we ask that You make us healthy and thin - and that You receive the glory for it. Instead of us doing it the world's way or our own way, please teach us YOUR way. Please create lasting change in our hearts and free us from addiction to overeating and sinful pleasures. I trust You, God, to help us. We need You and ask You for this good gift. In Jesus' Name, AMEN!

Knitting Needles

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you." Psalm 139:13-18

I heard a sermon months ago using the above verses. The speaker, one of my favorites (Jason Mitchell), talked about how we were made by God, who knew and created each detail about us. We can't be frustrated with who we are if we are going to become who God created us to be. Think about that last sentence for a moment - we can't be frustrated with who we are if we are going to become who God created us to be. As I thought about it, I thought about how annoyed I am that I struggle with weight. My husband doesn't care what he eats, for the most part. Why do I struggle with cravings? Why can't I seem to say no? Why do I have a slower metabolism than some folks? Why does this have to be my issue? After all, as I look back at my family, we're all obese. My grandfather was so extremely obese that he choked to death on a hot dog (sad, but true).

But, the above verses remind me that God doesn't make mistakes. He doesn't use poor choices in thread and knitting needles when he's creating us. He knew the things we would struggle with... but what an awesome thought that these very things can be what will bring Him the most glory. If we were born to glorify Him, then I believe that sometimes our struggles on this earth are brought about to give Him glory. If life were easy, would we have a testimony to share? If we can overcome the enemy and our past mistakes and behaviors, then we have so much more to praise God for!

God loves us. He made us. His works are wonderful. He knew what He was doing and saw our unformed body before one of our days came to be. I believe that He knew what we would struggle with, and I believe that these very issues can be turned around for His glory.


Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for Your Word. You are an amazing God! I am so blessed to know You and serve You. We love You, Lord Jesus. Thank You that Your works are wonderful. You don't make mistakes. We are not a mistake. Our struggles are not a mistake. Please help us overcome them so that we can bring You the glory in the midst of this journey. Help us not dwell on our downfalls but look to You to continue perfecting what You started within us. We will not become who we are meant to be DESPITE how we were created but because of how You made us. I am thrilled to be Your creation. I confess I have not always loved how I've looked - please help me overcome the vain selfish desires in my heart and create a pure heart where I can glorify You and how You knit me to be uniquely me. Thank You, God. In Jesus' Name, AMEN!

Being Refined, Purified & Made Spotless

"Some of the wise will stumble, so that they may be refined, purified and made spotless until the time of the end, for it will still come at the appointed time." Daniel 11:35

My third son was born seven weeks ago to the day. And stepping on the scale this evening, I still weigh almost 50 pounds more than I did when I conceived him. YIKES! I was feeling hopeless again today, I'll admit. I fear that I'll never be able to change. I keep giving into cravings rather than obeying what I know to be truth. I hang my head at the fact that I lost over 80 pounds and then gained most of them back in nine short months. And I certainly can't blame my amazing little guy - for even pregnancy has no bearing on behavior or habit. For if my weight was based on circumstances and not sin, I would have been able to lose more this past seven weeks since he's been born.

I finally made the time to read God's Word again today. And the above verse jumped out at me. Some of the "wise" will stumble. I don't necessarily consider myself wise. I am learning more and more as I read and study God's Word, though, and in this context I felt that it was saying "people who know their God" (Daniel 11:32). Oh, how I hope that can be said of me! Reading on, the wise will stumble SO THAT THEY MAY BE REFINED, PURIFIED AND MADE SPOTLESS...

I have definitely stumbled in this journey of losing weight. It has been a long hiatus. But, I need to hold tight to the idea that it's never too late to try again. If there can be a purpose to this stumbling, though, then God has given me hope once again that He can pick me up, dust me off, and strengthen me to try some more. I need refining. I obviously haven't mastered being healthy. I need purifying... looking back, I can see where I was taking some of the glory for my weight loss. After all, I had worked hard, right? WRONG! Only through God's grace was I able to eat better, exercise and lose weight. Honestly, without Him I have no chance. Even though my head knows what's necessary, I can't seem to act on the knowledge. I'm stuck like an addict in sinking sand. But, I know a God who doesn't play by this world's rules. I know that He and only He can help me (and you!). I can't look down on others who need to lose weight. I can't stick my nose up at what they have on their plate while I'm in line at a buffet. For truly, I've been that person... even recently. I can only be humble about what God is doing in my life and hopefully encourage others. May this stumbling come to an end. I'm pleading today for God's mercy... may He refine me, purify me and make me spotless until the time of the end.

Dear Heavenly Father, I am ashamed to even come before You. But, You are worthy of praise. You are worthy of glory. YOU alone are worthy of trying again. May I glorify You with my body, my speech and my actions. May they all come in line with Your plan for my life. Help me to encourage others who are also on this journey. May we all lead healthier lives so we can be used by You for Your holy Name's sake. Lord, if at the end of days, Your appointed time, You say "well done" then all of this, even my horrendous stumbling, will be worth it. Please forgive me. Please pick me up, dust me off and help me do better. Please don't forsake me or turn away because of my sin. I beg for the blood of Jesus to cover me once again. Please teach me how to treat my body like Your holy temple. In Jesus' powerful and precious name I pray, AMEN!

The Old Has Gone, the New Has Come!

"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" 2 Corinthians 5:17

I heard a fantastic sermon yesterday, which reminded me of how we can continue on this struggle of becoming a "new creation." We looked at Genesis 2:25 that says "Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame." The very next chapter (really, the very next verse) conveys how they ate of the forbidden fruit and ran in shame to cover themselves with fig leaves (Genesis 3:7). Jason Mitchell spoke about how guilt and shame are very different. Guilt comes from actions that we've done and can bring about godly repentance; shame, on the other hand, is about who we ARE (rather than what we've done). Shame makes us feel like we'll never amount to anything more and keeps us away from others and God.

The sermon was on how to live the abundant life, and the message was centered on living in community how we are to be open with one another and not hide behind fig leaves or isolate ourselves. How can we do that? By remembering that in Christ we are a new creation. Like a song playing on the radio these days (almost too often even though it's a great song), "we are more than the choices that we make, we are more than the sum of our past mistakes, we are more than the problems we create, we've been remade!" Our behavior doesn't make us who we are - CHRIST makes us who we are. We can be honest in saying "I've screwed up" but that's not where the story ends. Instead, we can say "but glory to God, I am a new person in Christ!"

And while this information should not be a revelation to me, once again it hit home. I'm currently in my third trimester of pregnancy. I've gained far more weight than I should have already, even though the OBGYN hasn't said anything negative about it. I know. I know that I've parted from the path of eating healthy and exercising daily in the mornings. I've allowed myself to take naps in the afternoon rather than being diligent with my time in trying to be a healthier person. And while one day wouldn't kill me, I've adopted a new lifestyle in the last six months that is not what God has for me. 

And as I gain weight, I also want to hide behind those fig leaves. I am ashamed, honestly, and the only way to hide is to truly 'hide.' But, I realized that I've been listening to the lie that my behavior is who I am and who I'll always be...I'll never get out of this cycle of disobedience, I will always struggle with these same problems, I will never break free. This verse reminds me that if I'm in Christ, I am a new creation. He has paid the price for my past and made me new. I can feel guilt over things that need to change, but I can't hide away in shame for isolation just brings further pain and problems.  I need to hold onto this promise that God has made me a new person. I AM a new creation in Him. One step, one day at a time, I need to live that new creation out. 

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for Your Word that tells us that even though we've screwed up, we are a new creation in You. The old is gone, the new has come! Father, I have felt so ashamed at how I look even though I am thrilled to be carrying another son of yours. Forgive me for the sins I've committed and help me to start walking as the new creation You've made me to be. Help me burn the fig leaves and be open about my struggles so that others can hear Your Word and turn to You if they're facing the same issues. Father God, we're lost without You. We can't break free without the blood of Jesus covering us and helping us. Thank You for not leaving us. Please forgive us and help us start fresh once again. We love You and long to honor You with everything we say and do. In Jesus' name, AMEN!

The Oldest Sin in the Book

"When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it." Genesis 3:6

Once again, I'm reading the Bible cover to cover, starting back in Genesis. I noticed that the first ever sin committed dealt with eating. Did you ever think about that? From the time man was created, God put limits on what he could and could not eat. The Lord told Adam in Genesis 2:16-17 that he was free to eat from any tree in the garden EXCEPT the tree of knowledge of good and evil. It struck me upon reading this passage this time how much God had given to Adam. He was allowed to eat almost anything, but there were still limits.

Ironically, it was woman who first committed the sin of eating what she wasn't supposed to. She knew word-for-word what God had told her husband (Genesis 3:2-3) and yet, we see in verse 6 that she ate the fruit anyway and even shared it with her husband. She willingly disobeyed God and had to suffer the consequences. More than that, it grieved me to see that she drug her husband down in the process. How many times do I do the same thing? My overeating and unhealthy lifestyle affects both my husband and children as I cook for them or encourage our family to go out to eat, etc. When pregnant with my first son, both my husband and I gained a tremendous amount of weight as he was gracious to me and my desires during those months.

There are times that I growl in my heart at Eve's sin. Why would she listen to that serpent? Why must I endure pain in childbirth because she was so stupid? Why are there weeds in my flower beds every spring that we spend countless hours trying to keep under control? How could they have been so foolish? All mankind pays consequences because of their actions. They knew better! And then it hits me all over again. I do the same thing. I know in my heart and in my head what is safe to eat. I know when I'm overeating and indulging. I know when I'm committing a sin against God and my family. And yet, I often run back to food for comfort. Just as Eve was deceived, I've let the same sin rule my life over and over again, knowing better, doing wrong.

If I have knowingly sinned, I can't hold any grudges against anyone else who has, too. I can't judge anyone who is overweight, for I've struggled my entire life with this sin of eating what I'm not supposed to. And, it looks to me as if it's been the longest sin known to mankind. We must defeat the enemy in this area! We must say no to the cunning of the serpent when he tempts us with food that is not in God's plan for our lives. It's not like God is trying to deny us good things - for we see how He allowed Adam to eat from every tree but one. He is the giver of all perfect gifts (James 1:17) and I must remind myself that a healthy body is a much better long-term gift than an immediate satisfaction of a craving, which brings momentary pleasure and future remorse. Let's pray!

Father God, we thank You once again for Your Word. I realize that Satan has been tempting mankind with eating something we shouldn't for a long time. But, it's no excuse. In fact, on the contrary, we should know better! I'm sorry for the sin I've committed in this area. And I'm sorry for dragging my husband and children down with me on this path. Please keep them healthy and thin, as well as me. Please forgive my sin and heal my body as only You can. Keep me from temptation and deliver me from evil, I humbly ask. In Jesus' powerful and precious name I pray, AMEN!